February 2013
1 post
We Can't Stand it When Someone Has to Leave the...
I’m catching myself in a rare mood. One in which all negativity and pessimism has been drowned and burned and shipped out to the furthest edges of space in a capsule built by love and thankfulness. I’m catching myself in a mood where all rays of light glisten across the surface of the smallest things. And I’m telling you that the smallest things are the most important of them...
March 2012
3 posts
JUST WOKE UP: PART FOURTY NINE
What ever happened to visions? Revelations? Lights and voices from above articulately speaking specific and simple instructions on broad topics that carry very personal messages for very personal people. No one is speaking from the skies and no one is listening down below.
What ever happened to magic and mysticism? Warm orbs of blue that seep through walls and grant wishes to the less fortunate...
JUST WOKE UP: PART FOURTY EIGHT
Can you ever really trust your own mind? With the definition of reality being “the state OR QUALITY of being real”… can you fully believe in the concreteness and actuality of anything? I think there are two ways of going about your life with that question in mind.
1.
Make a little time for yourself. Take a walk in a cavern. Lay in a field of rosemary. Drink from the bluest...
JUST WOKE UP: PART FOURTY SEVEN
Not to start off in too harsh a manner this morning, but I wonder what last thoughts go through a human brain as it meets its end. I wonder if it can be something extremely mundane like, “Did I leave the iron on?” Or “What was that guy’s name I meet at work? I can never remember names these days.” I wish we all had the exact same last thought. Whether an old man in a...
February 2012
1 post
JUST WOKE UP: PART FOURTY SIX
Good morning, America. LOLZ. WTF. Coca Cola. Mood rings.
I’ve been spending a lot of time wondering lately. Not about certain extremely specific things. Just general wondering… that honestly eventually just morphs into worrying. It’s usually stressful and unfulfilling with brief moments of teetering clarity and drab nirvana.
I wonder/worry about there being more universes than...
December 2011
3 posts
JUST WOKE UP: PART FOURTY FIVE
Did you know “Xmas” isn’t a pagan manner to express your holiday cheer? The Greek word for Christ starts with the letter X. Screwed me again, Christians. Oh well. I think with each year leaping and laughing its way past my aging mind; I become more and more nostalgic. I’m trading my wit in for long, warm stares. I’m switching out narcissistic undertones for tears of...
JUST WOKE UP: PART FOURTY FOUR
I woke up thinking about the importance of our sense of smell. It’s a strange thing I don’t quite understand. And I assume it is everyones “go to” if asked which sense (if forced for some unknown reason) you would give up first. Not saying that it doesn’t have its importance, but it seems easily dispensable comparatively to the others. Right?
Such as sight. Sight...
JUST WOKE UP: PART FOURTY THREE
Some days I like to indulge myself by embracing the idea of living and/or dying in infamy. Surely, everyone has a small section of their soul they set aside and allow to feel corrupt and sinister and wrong. A place where Darth Vader and John Wayne Gacy run smiling hand in hand. Where terrorists and David Koresh and horrible wizards wield flaming swords and AK47s. I think I hide my evil urges...
November 2011
6 posts
JUST WOKE UP: PART FOURTY TWO
Is anything truly unique? After the Universe collided and atoms burst into flames and separated into the darkness and formed planets and water and light… was there any room left for new creations? From that point on… did we just start the long process of building up a civilization filled with replicators?
I remember narcissistic times in my life where I would seek out an original...
JUST WOKE UP: PART FOURTY ONE
If you could be the absolute BEST at something… what would it be? A painter? Physicist? Musician? Or maybe you’re just known for the best cup of coffee or slice of pizza? It’s a tough question. Because I mean the BEST. Spanning the entire recorded history of the Earth. What would you be?
I’d be a novelist. And not the kind that would write only one book and fall into...
JUST WOKE UP: PART FOURTY
I’ve been listening to Stephen Hawkings ramble on about the universe lately. I think if introduced… we would be ultimate bros. He seems to have a sense of humor about serious matters and a tendency to be constantly mystified by things greater than himself. I’d like the two of us to rent out a private theater and watch Empire Strikes Back and Solaris and Metropolis and 2001: A...
JUST WOKE UP: PART THIRTY NINE
When I was around 6 years old my mother asked me what time was. Maybe she was having an off day or maybe she was just trying to amuse herself on a long car ride with just the two of us. What is time? Turns out… this monstrous question laid down at the feet of my adolescent self because I apparently immediately answered her. “Time is change.” I mutter this response to her from my...
JUST WOKE UP: PART THIRTY EIGHT
What were you going to be when you grew up? When did you grow up? What occurrences occurred that kept you from that childhood goal? I wanted to be an archeologist. And I know you probably think that’s cute, but it wasn’t. I was pretty serious about the whole deal. I spent days digging massive holes in my back yard. Once they were big enough to hold me; I would jump down inside and...
JUST WOKE UP: PART THIRTY SEVEN
Do you really think that they will have a pill for everything in the future? One to effect your dreams. One to cure writer’s block. One to turn love into disdain. One to give you good taste in clothing. One to help you understand James Joyce. One to disappear? One to reappear?
If so; I hope I’m alive to see it. I’d wake up in the late afternoon and take the pill that makes me...
October 2011
7 posts
JUST WOKE UP: PART THIRTY SIX
What would Jesus have been for Halloween? Himself? Jesus as Jesus? Growing up; I always wanted to believe that He would have a sort of self degrading humor about himself like that. Warm and dry and subtly funny. I think it would make the whole “titling himself as the SON OF GOD” thing more bearable if He was throwing in a few snide comments on his tattered robes or something. Maybe...
JUST WOKE UP: PART THIRTY FIVE
Raise your hand if you’re terrified by the fact that we’ve never been able to get to the center of our own planet. That unknown depth stirring below our feet. Dragons and molten lava and fallen angels with flaming wings screeching between giant stone discs the size of continents. It’s a rush hour that lasts for eternity down there and we have no idea what’s going on. We...
JUST WOKE UP: PART THIRTY FOUR
Where does identity lie? Or… what makes you who you are? Or… without our memory; we have no past. Without our past we are constantly a new person. This idea of my brain containing information that defines who I am is verging on the comedic/tragic this morning. Who can trust their own brains? It’s atoms that make flesh that run off of electricity and happenstance. No one has any...
JUST WOKE UP: PART THIRTY THREE
Some days I feel as though I am being lead around by an invisible thread. It was fed through my nostrils and then criss crossed between each of my eye sockets. So, it has me now and nothing can be done about it. I’m under its control and no amount of biting or swatting in its direction is going to help. I sit and wait until I feel it tug at my skull. It feels like a sinus head ache. Mucus...
JUST WOKE UP: PART THIRTY TWO
I don’t want to wake up and complain, but it really is rare to get paid to do what you love. Every podcast or GQ artical with a successful musician or architect or actor or rock climber contains the words, “Do what you love.” As if there are not MILLIONS of other people out there who tried to do the exact same thing as they’re doing, but just didn’t get lucky. They...
JUST WOKE UP: PART THIRTY ONE
Who’s the loneliest person in the world? Or better yet… who is the most alone? These are (more than likely) two different things. Every man assumes there is a hidden part of him that desires to live in complete seclusion for his entire life. That he could “do it” if given the chance. He imagines that he could work his hands corse by fighting the rugged landscape around him....
JUST WOKE UP: PART THIRTY
I’m back on this thing. I stopped writing for a while because that seems like a general theme in my life. I don’t necessarily procrastinate. It’s more… I assume nothing will ever get finished or occur… at all. Ever. I remember thinking I would never kiss a girl or drive a car or get a job or make anything with my hands that I would love for what it is. But I yawn and...
January 2011
1 post
JUST WOKE UP: PART TWENTY NINE
Oyveh! (says the honorary Jewish/late twenties agnsty male),
Woke up from a nap feeling insane. My first thoughts are… is this it? Is the the day I’ve completely detached myself from all things good? all things whole and real? Will I quickly realize that I care not for my vintage boots found at a low cost? Or whether the Battle Star Galactica will ever reach Earth or not? Or in my...
November 2010
1 post
JUST WOKE UP: PART TWENTY EIGHT
For my 30th birthday I want a trip around the solar system. It can be a small rocket with streamers and black coffee and turtle cheesecake. I’ll only need a few friends and cheap champagne and no smoking is allowed. The first half of the trip will be spent in giant sleeping bags filled with those weird hand warmers you use on camping trips. And we’ll watch all my favorite movies....
October 2010
1 post
JUST WOKE UP: PART TWENTY SEVEN
Woke up feeling like I just got out of brain surgery. This week has been filled with work and shooting a documentary and preparing for a music video and helping my friends with bed bugs and spending time with Amanda and getting blisters on my feet. I’m on the brink of something. I can feel it. I hope it ends up good. I may need a yard to dig holes in. Don’t knock it till you try it....
September 2010
5 posts
JUST WOKE UP: PART TWENTY SIX
My mother just learned how to text this week. I woke up this morning with a message on my phone saying, “Donnie Corbet has a cannon in his front yard!” I don’t know who Donnie Corbet is, but I bet he is fairly interesting. Or maybe he just thinks he is interesting. Or maybe he just wants others to think he is interesting. He probably sits at home looking through vintage Hardy...
JUST WOKE UP: PART TWENTY FIVE
Fall is about to hit and none of us are prepared for it. It starts at the beaches of Montauk. They are beginning to fill up with orange pebbles that never look the same once you take them out of the water. And all those sandy dogs that roam with a hint of mischievous danger will be swallowed by the dunes. Eventually, boards will cover windows and local fishermen will breath easy at the sight of...
JUST WOKE UP: PART TWENTY FOUR
I’m in the mood to take on volcanoes today. And then learn how to play the banjo and speak “shark” and then reveal old, Earthly mysteries that everyone has forgotten about. That’s all before coffee. I’ll poor a strong, black cup (shout out to Marquez) and discover that the golden ratio is wrong. Then, I’ll spill the hot beverage down my shirt by tripping on the...
JUST WOKE UP: PART TWENTY THREE
“Mother dear, your boy is here from far across the sea. Lookin’ for that sacred chord that burns inside of me.”
Wake up and sing that to the closest wall. Thank you, Mr. Prine. It really is interesting where your mind goes in the morning. And afternoon. And night. It stretches across the spectrum enough to where I feel like we are all a little insane. We just can’t tell...
JUST WOKE UP: PART TWENTY TWO
Busy. Busy. Busy. Stop and smell the roses means nothing to me. Stop and smoke a cigarette NOW means the same. I guess I’m going to do what I have to do to not inhale smoke.
A. because I’m not a dragon.
B. because I don’t want to have to crawl to the bathroom by the time I’m 70.
No one wants to be the other’s responsibility. At lest I don’t. I want to breath...
August 2010
10 posts
JUST WOKE UP: PART TWENTY ONE
Some people come and some people go. And some people hole up inside of you forever. Those are special and particular and it takes time and patience. Those are like a diamond forming through centuries of pressure inside your molten core. Those are the ones you remember the span of your life through. Because the people that help you the most and the people that hurt you the most are the people you...
JUST WOKE UP: PART TWENTY
Woah. Just woke up from a dream that I had to write down a sentence on stage and have to spell each word in the sentence correctly or get shot in the head. (This is a huge fear of mine… that my life would end up depending on my spelling abilities) My sentence was: And violently she fell towards the violet, velvet doorway. If you are a song writer… don’t you dare use that in a...
JUST WOKE UP: PART NINETEEN
Brian Eno kind of morning. Makes me want to strap luggage to the side of a train and lift my friends and family into the carriage as I pass by with a huge grin on my face. No matter what… you are an individual. Remember that. And remember how much fun it is to share that with someone else. No two people EVER become one and that’s the beauty of it all. I think we, Americans, forget that...
JUST WOKE UP: PART EIGHTEEN
I want to write one of those novels that end up totally based on everyone in my life. And there is a divide of people shocked by how much I respect them and of people who are just pissed off by what I said about them. Writing deep into the night is fun, but it leaves you with a creative hangover. I need to remember that every time, in the movies, it is a struggle when you see someone trying to...
JUST WOKE UP: PART SEVENTEEN
I’m in the mood to shrink wrap this morning. Anything. Everything. Place an object in a plastic pouch. Burn each end down to the edge. Use a blow drier to shrink the plastic down… until the object is preserved within the bounds of a tight, clear heaven. Sounds so peaceful. Maybe a piece of chicken or a water soaked skull. Or The Koran or coffee grounds or the blue prints of an Egyptian...
JUST WOKE UP: PART SIXTEEN
The older you get… the more complicated the rules. Nothing is planned out the way you would like and nothing goes according to plan. It’s like me trying to steer a submarine. And if you know me well… you know I can’t steer a submarine for shit. Last time I tried it… well I’ll just say I doubt they will let me in the bay area anytime soon. BUT the more...
JUST WOKE UP: PART FIFTEEN
I want to build a website based on a Ouiji board. Everyone would love it… except my mother. The last generation built cities. We build websites. I can actually do neither. I can whistle well and make people feel good about themselves. Maybe I should start a whistling support group. We’ll drink hot chocolate and annoy EVERYONE. We could print up shirts that say, “Tired Lips and a...
JUST WOKE UP: PART FOURTEEN
Fell asleep on a white fur rug. My dream consisted of me singing, “PARTIES COME FROM THE WEIRDEST OF PLACES!” Now, I feel as though I need to keep my life on course.
To do list:
-have one job
-quit that job and work for self
-quit smoking
-watch more westerns
-get a new car
-learn how to cook 10 great meals
-discuss physics more
-become less ignorant on physics before...
JUST WOKE UP: PART THIRTEEN
Good morning, Sunshine. The Earth says hello. Sometimes you wake and say, “Beat yesterday. I bet you can’t.” I feel like my life is turning into that roller coster that gets better and better the longer you ride it. Wait… strike that. I fucking hate roller coaster comparisons… in any form really. What did they say before roller coasters existed? Maybe, “I tell...
Just WOKE UP: PART TWELVE
Home is where my bed is. Sometimes I wake up in a big coccoon of contentment. My family seems happy, there is money in the bank, no one is out to get me. It’s like I’m in the womb, but less sticky. Apparently, people are taking sections of the placenta and covering their eyes with it. It regenerates sight because the eye assumes it is back in pre-birth stages. I wonder what stem cell...
July 2010
11 posts
JUST WOKE UP: PART ELEVEN
Room service in Atlanta. That would be the last job I would ever want. Continually knocking on strangers doors in their in-between space. People treat hotel rooms like the rich kid they don’t really want to hang out with. CURRENTLY: sitting in the future of the South, exhausted, blue berry pancakes, whiskey mouth, hazy remembrance of a cab ride, baby talk, laughing, being intense. I need...
JUST WOKE UP: PART TEN
Is everything a choice? You don’t have to answer that. Har Har. We’re born without one, but I suppose we can die on our own accord. Not to get into suicide, but is it really that shocking that some of us want to not be controlled by the unknown. I want to die like Hemingway should have died. Fill in that blank for yourself. Amanda wants to be mummified… in the classic manner....
JUST WOKE UP: PART NINE
Dreams. Dreams. Dreams. My grandfather was getting sick… dying. Our family had him cloned. A 20 year younger version. Unspoken rules say we had to kill my grandfather off and then throw a party for the new one. Streamers and cheap paper cups filled with punch and my new grandfather looks so happy. It’s the version of my early, early childhood. Then the door opens. Then the real man...
Just WOKE UP: PART EIGHT
All things are different and all things stay the same. Make a list of 10 things to be thankful for. Then, make a list of 10 things that piss you off. I bet each will feel completely gratifying. #1. The sound of an air conditioner. #1. gospel radio. I like sitting in a destroyed apartment because nothing has its place and nothing is settled in. Everything has infinite opportunity just like me....
JUST WOKE UP: PART SEVEN
Nightmares. Nightmares. My mom was getting her face pounded in… in a bathroom of gold and black. My childhood dog was bitting the man’s hand as I came in the room and kicked him in the back of the head. The scene should have cut to me saying, “This isn’t over till you’re fucking dead.” Instead, the man slumped over bloody and didn’t move. At lest I woke up...
JUST WOKE UP: PART SIX
Apparently, I don’t like anything ever… enough to start a podcast about it. Note to self: encourage future child to podcast on a limited format. Also, present child with full collection of Beatles records and tell him/her that he/she has to “do it for his/her self.” Do men have a biological clock? Not to get “Dude in the City” about it, but I can see myself...
JUST WOKE UP: PART FIVE
transcribed from a scrap of notebook paper:
I’m up and this is exhausting. Sometimes you don’t want to know or expose or learn or seek. That should be ok, but it’s not. Life is too short and the sun is going to burn out soon…. and everyone is gonna be looking for the light switch and not be able to find it. Therefor, set aside pre-formated ideas about truth and happiness...
JUST WOKE UP: PART FOUR
Waking up mid sentence feels wrong… like a band aid you leave on too long. The line I just got interrupted from was me saying, “Americans look for any reason to drink!” I think I was wearing a scarf at the time. Maybe the Earth isn’t heating up. Maybe we are just wearing too many clothes. Maybe we should be taking more baths and finding more shade to spread out under....
JUST WOKE UP: PART THREE
What does a tornado represent in your dreams? Also, why do we have to define everything in our sub conscious through the filter of our logical mind. What the fuck does a dinosaur represent in your dreams? I bet it stands for the lack of understanding of your own natural power. I’m funny to me. I had a McCarthy-esque dream of my brother, father, and I sitting in front of a giant, lighting...
JUST WOKE UP: PART TWO
If someone asks you, “What are you going to dream about tonight?” Always answer with, “You.” No matter what. I woke up this morning and forgot to do the wake up blog. So, I just took a nap to stay honest. I’m like “Mr. Goddamn Smith Goes to Washington.” I read a Bradbury short today about space men on a planet where it always rains. And they were in...
JUST WOKE UP: PART ONE
The moon and Mississippi hallowed be thy name. I’m working on not being so “jokey.” Right now… I am working on it. Today is Burger Up! Station Lofts! Production team meeting! Packing! Not cleaning! Shit! I need a fan and to finish reading 3 books today. Good thing my wife packed me my “angry eyes.”
